i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
