i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
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Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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