If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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