OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize