Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
