if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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