thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
