is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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