Don't make out with my wife yet
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
