Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
