did you get engaged???
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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