She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Less talking, more tequila
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
