I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
