thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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