Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize