last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
