I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
