maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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