I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
