Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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