Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
