The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
