We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm always down for nudity.
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