She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
