i think my tv is drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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