Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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