You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
