Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
