i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
