so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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