Your mouth is God's brothel.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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