Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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