I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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