My sheets look like a crime scene.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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