he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
