if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
