saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
