I am puke
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
