How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
