It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
