you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
