It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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