We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
