I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
