So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
