Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
