the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
