i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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