Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
