420 ftw
My hand turned me down
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
