Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
All the doctor said was why
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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