I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize