I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Houston, we have a blender
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
