Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
