ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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