And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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