is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
