Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
