I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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