Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
oh god the rape fog is back!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
