dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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