I don't think brook has ever known best
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
