Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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